


Thingies

by nekked



Category: One Piece
Genre: Comedy, Drabbles, Drama, F/M, LuNa - Freeform, One Shot Collection, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 05:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 11,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekked/pseuds/nekked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble-thingies about a girl and her moron. Er, captain. — LuNa</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. missed you

**A/N:** _This is where I put all my dumb little things I can't really put anywhere else. They're just here for your amusement._

_I do not own One Piece or any of its affiliated characters._

_Enjoy~_

* * *

Show off. Of course he's gotta ride in on a goddamn bird after blowing his cover and nearly making it impossible for us to get away.

"Luffy, I know how you feel," I ground out, pulling at his shirt to keep him from glomping the robotic glory our ship wright has turned himself into. "Save it, okay?"

Besides, you asshole. You didn't even say hi to  _me_  yet…

_I've been saving this for two years, and you're just gonna have to deal with it._

I can't tell if he likes it, if he hates it, if he feels sorry for me…has he developed that kind of ability while he's been out of my sight? The ability to cover up what he's really feeling? Don't know.

All I know is that while everyone's busy trying to figure out why Sanji-kun's over there in critical condition because of profuse bleeding of the nose, I've got his hands on me. And I like it.

"Wait...let me just catch my breath," he whispers, pulling out of the kiss and just letting his head fall to my shoulder.

I can feel it. All the things he's wanted to say to me, to them, to everyone. It's all there and I can't wait to listen to every word of it.

"Let's get going."

"Yeah."

He replaces the hat on his head and walks away, turning back over his shoulder and smiling.

"Missed you, Nami."

"Missed you too, Captain."


	2. goodnight, luffy

"Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi-"

"What," Nami groaned, glaring up at Haredas and setting her book down. He smiled.

"You should stop studying for the night. You've been sleepy lately. It will eventually start to effect your body."

"Yeah. I get it," the red head mumbled, picking up her tea and settling further into her chair. "I'll finish this first."

The old man chuckled and excused himself, leaving Nami alone in the small dwelling she had been given for her own personal use.

_He's right. I've been slow lately._

It wasn't just that Nami was up all night trying to memorize weather patterns of the new world, it was also the restlessness she felt once she could finally settle down. All she saw were faces. Everything she refused to dwell on during the day came flooding back to her and made it impossible to sleep.

The nightmares were becoming less of a problem now that she at least knew Luffy was ok. Still, every once in awhile, she'd wake up reaching for someone who wasn't there.

She put her dishes in the sink, turned off the lamp next to the chair and slowly walked to the bedroom, staring with hollow eyes at the full length mirror she'd bought a couple weeks ago.

She brushed her teeth, changed into her clothes and once again found herself drawn to the mirror.

After a minute of quiet hesitation, she walked over to her climatact and took it in her hands, finding herself in front of the glass again, just like every night for the past two weeks.

"Mirage Tempo," she whispered, her own figure being clouded over by mist.

And there he was, just as if he were there in the room with her.

"Hey, Nami," she said to herself, trying to imitate his voice. "If you're sleepy, you should eat something first and then try again. Shishishi."

_Or something like that…_

She refused to cry. It would ruin the image.

"Oi, Nami," she quivered, smiling big at herself. "Smile until I can see you again, okay?"

_Yep._

She walked forward and closed her eyes, pressing her lips to the mirror.

_Good night, Luffy._


	3. friends in high places

Clouds were nice, but most nights, Luffy had learned to appreciate a clear sky. And when you live alone on an island with nothing but a grouchy old man and a bunch of animal's that want to eat you for two years, you find ways to entertain yourself.

"What are you still doing out here," Nami sighed, finally finished with her map and walking out of the navigation room to find her captain staring whimsically out at the sky.

"Nami, what do stars do?"

She gave him a funny look and walked over to stand next to his crouched figure.

"Well, they don't necessarily do anything to directly effect us here on Earth I suppose…the light they shine, depending on how far away they are, takes years to reach us but-"

"Can they talk?"

Sweat drop. "No. No, Luffy. They can't talk."

He looked disappointed, which made her even more confused.

"Which one is that?" he asked suddenly, pointing up at the one directly above them. She smiled.

"The north star? That's Polaris."

"Oh. So it already had a name," he said, pouting a little. Nami was beyond confused.

"Luffy, why is that a bad thing?"

He shifted his eyes and his lips protruded, like he was contemplating actually telling her a secret.

"When I was training, I liked to talk to them. The stars. I named them after you guys."

Nami blinked in surprise.

"Oh, is that all?" she laughed. "Well, I guess you can keep the names you gave them. What did you name Polaris?"

"Ace! Because he's always in the same spot and I can see him." He smiled widely and missed Nami's thoughtful gaze, still a little uncomfortable about how to talk about that subject with him.

"And that one's Zoro because it's reeeealllly~ bright all the time…" he continued, pointing out all of the ones he had apparently named after his friends.

Nami snorted. Zoro got the honor of being Sirius. Of course. Somehow that fit him rather well.

He seemed finished with his list of names and she frowned.

"You didn't like talking to me?" she inquired, a little hurt.

Luffy blinked at her and scratched his head.

"Yours was weird. Sometimes it was there, sometimes it wasn't. It disappeared sometimes."

She deepened her frown. Stars didn't just disappear…

"That one. That one's you. Because it's the biggest and prettiest."

Nami fell over.

He was pointing at the moon.


	4. jet lips

It had started when Usopp decided it might be a good idea to make those popping sounds with his lips while they were fishing.

"How are you doing that?" Luffy wondered out loud, staring at Usopp's mouth curiously.

"The sound? Only those born with highly evolved lips are able to make a sound that loud."

"You do have huge lips," Zoro muttered as he passed by. Usopp glared at him.

Luffy tried it and immediately fell in love.

"This is the coolest thing ever!"

Well, everyone else suffered from that point on. Sun up to sun down, all that was heard throughout the ship were the varied volumes of Luffy's lips popping in melodies he came up with on the spot.

That didn't sit well with the navigator of the ship, who usually spent her afternoons doing things that required concentration.

 _I'll kill him_ , she thought darkly, finally snapping and stalking out of the navigation room and over to him with her fists clenched.

"YOU," she yelled, pointing an angry finger and kicking Usopp's odds and ends out of the way to get to her victim. "I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. SO SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE."

"Hey, Nami! Look at this cool thing I can do!" he laughed.

She grabbed him by his shirt collar, the stream of cuss words leaving her mouth going in one ear and out the other.

" _Gomu gomu no_  Jet Lips," he said hysterically, pulling his lips in and letting them fly out into oblivion.

It was brief, but oblivion ended with Nami's mouth. She was startled, dropping him and trying to process the extreme absurdity of what had just happened.

"Oops," he muttered, picking himself up from the ground. He blinked and wiped his own mouth. "Sorry 'bout that."

She wasn't listening. Her body staggered away, jellyfish limbs going every which way. If he looked closely he could see her soul struggling to remain inside of her.

"Okay! I'll catch you later Nami!" he yelled cheerfully, licking his lips absentmindedly.

She didn't taste bad. Was it weird to think that? Oh well…

Not like he couldn't use his new move again if he needed another taste to decide.


	5. she's everywhere

Her toes shied away from the sea foam, sandals held in one hand as she waved at him from the shore.

He blinked and sighed, letting his face sink further into his arms as they rested on the railing.

Sunny drifted on, and her figure eventually disappeared from sight along with the beach.

She emerged from the foliage high up on the pictured cliffs, tangled hair in a loose ponytail and her brown eyes searching his as he waited patiently for her, too, to disappear.

He waved with his fingers a bit, smiling lazily as she turned back to the trees.

They passed the light house, the pinks and violets of yet another glorious New World sunset painting everything pretty.

His gaze caught red again, left untamed and blowing around her rounded shoulders. Her hands held her up as she leaned out to get a better look, gripping the steel of the guard rail and mouthing something for him to hear. He counted how many times the lamp light passed over her before he couldn't see anymore.

He inhaled again, snuggling his face into his shirt sleeves and lifting his gaze only to catch a glimpse of her walking over…

"What're you looking at?" Nami asked curiously, squinting out at the island to see if she could make out anything interesting.

He watched her carefully, half lidded eyes studying the way shadows fell over her face, the way stray hairs got themselves caught in his hat…

She blushed a little when a word floated from his lips to her ear.

_You._


	6. the in-laws

"Look at 'im, look at 'im," Bellemere muttered excitedly, pointing into the reflecting pool table between herself and Ace and smirking. "Look at, he won't stop staring…"

"Tch. It's probably because she's eating something," he replied with a roll of the eyes. "Any girl would be just as interesting if they were served with a rack of meat…"

"Are you trying to say my little girl isn't irresistible," the ex-marine growled, kicking him underneath the table and making him wince in pain.

"Geez, woman. Chill out. All I'm saying is that…wait…" Ace squinted into the scene, watching Luffy make his way over to Nami.

"Atta boy! Be a man and go right up and tell her she's gorgeous!" Bellemere yelled enthusiastically, whacking Ace on the back and disturbing the pool. Her face fell.

"YOU ASSHOLE I WAS WATCHING THAT."

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT PUSHED ME."

"Oi," the cafe owner called from inside, his halo lighting up his unamused face. "I don't wanna have to kick you two out again."

"Aw geez, like you can afford to kick us out. Nobody comes by here anymore because you're such a crotchety old bastard."

"No, nobody comes by when you're around because, well,  _you're around_ ," Ace muttered, leaning his face in one palm and watching Luffy get beat over the head for trying to steal Nami's food. "Stupid little brother…you're never gonna get laid…"

"MY NAMI IS NOT LIKE THAT." Ace received a punch to the face, his crash land into another reflecting station ignored. Bellemere yelled out in joy again.

"Get 'im, honey! Show 'im who's boss!"

"Like mother like daughter," Ace muttered, wondering why it hurt so goddamn much to get socked, even in the afterlife.

"Yeah, and like idiot brother, like other idiot brother," Bellemere sneered, smoothing her mohawk back and cheering Nami on as she beat the crap out of her captain. She grew silent after a minute and a smile slowly grew over her face.

Ace grinned. "He kiss 'er?"

"Yeah," she said, shaking her head and chuckling. "I never taught Nami how to react in situations like this. She's just sittin' there dumbfounded."

"Luffy has a way of doing that," the fire user said, shrugging and walking over. "I believe you owe me some money."

Bellemere glared. "Because we use a lot of money up here."

Ace smirked. "Old habit's die hard. I'm a pirate, ya know."

"Right. And it's my job to make sure you behave," she grunted, pushing his face away and beaming at her daughter's expression after receiving her first kiss.

"So we're like, in-laws or somethin'," Ace teased.

"We'll see. You're brother's gotta figure out what 'marriage' is first."

Ace's face fell. "Looks like we're gonna have to wait awhile…"

Bellemere threw her head back and laughed.

"Well, we've got all the time in the world now, don't we?"


	7. priceless

"Did you hear? He just got into port! Wanna go see?"

"Hell yeah! Who knows when we'll get the chance to see the pirate king and his crew again!"

This was all Sarquiss kept hearing as he made his way through the streets. When he finally got back to the bar, it was even worse.

Bellamy sat with a plastered on glare, surrounded by the rest of his cronies, probably still trying to block out whatever shit was being murmured. Sarquiss sighed and scanned the numerous other tables, everyone seemingly obsessed with the news that Monkey D. Luffy was here.

_Kid's got some strange ways of showing up and causing a scene._

He smiled a bit to himself, nodding at his associates and making his way over to the bar for a much needed beer.

He sat down, looked to his left, and couldn't help grinning.

_So she stuck around, eh…_

"I'll have a pint, and another for this little miss here," he said calmly, turning to the woman at his left shoulder who didn't bother hiding her suspicious gaze.

"I remember you."

"Reckon you do. Think I remember you as well."

There was a short silence as he let her mull over her memory. When it appeared she'd remembered, she smiled slyly and kicked one leg over the other and leaned on the bar.

"You look like you're doing pretty well," he said, swallowing some ale. She picked her's up and studied it.

"I have half a mind to brag, but I'm sure you feel silly already so I'll leave it be," she said quietly, taking a sip. "I actually…now that I see you, want to thank you."

He turned to her like she was crazy and she shrugged.

"It was something I needed to see…back then, I don't think I'd come to terms with how much I'd invested in those morons. So, I'm grateful."

"That's a might positive view point you got there."

"Yeah, well, it took awhile to get around to it, don't worry."

He chuckled. "That's some ring you got there, too." She blushed a little and he laughed harder.

"So, which one is it? Which one's the lucky guy?"

She smirked, slipped the bartender some money and grabbed her bag.

"Let's just say, if you couldn't afford me when I  _wasn't_  the pirate queen, you don't have a snow ball's chance in hell now."


	8. how it went down

Butts are weird. Especially girl butts.

Do girls even poop? Girls besides Nami anyway. I know she poops. I use the bathroom after her sometimes.

"Did anything interesting happen while you were running around looking for me?" she calls with her back turned.

"Nah. I ate some octopus."

Doesn't her butt get cold or somethin' if her shorts only go to there? What's the point of a belt thingy? Is it to prevent them from falling off? But some of her butt's already out. I don't understand…

I look at Birri and wonder if he thinks about things like this too.

"Ducks don't really have butts, huh," I mumble, biting into the scorpion again.

"You say something, Luffy?"

"Nah. Want some scorpion?"

* * *

**Later…**

"Well, I guess the best option is to have me ride on your shoulders."

I blink. "You mean like…with your butt?"

She stares at me. I stare back.

"Yeah. I usually sit on stuff with my butt."

"Okay."


	9. yer still pretty

Two years she had been left to wallow in vanity. She had forgotten, perhaps, the most important thing about having long hair…

Chopper gave her a sympathetic look, then went back to focusing on stitching.

"I'm sorry you had to do this, Nami."

She shook her head and wiped her nose. She wasn't crying because of the hair. Not now.

_"Stop crying over something so stupid, Nami."_

"You're pretty, so you don't have to worry. It'll grow back," the little reindeer tried to reassure her. She tried to smile back.

_"The navigator of the Pirate King wouldn't cry over somethin' like that."_

He hadn't needed to tell her that. She knew it was stupid.

"You know, he's only angry because we were careless," Chopper said softly. "He's mad at himself. Your hair got singed off, but you were also cut here," he said, finishing her stitch and gently touching near the middle of the left side of her skull.

"Will it heal well?"

"Mm. You won't be able to see it once the hair grows back in."

She ventured out of the office, noticing nobody really felt like speaking to anyone else at the moment. A rare moment to reflect on where they were, what their growth actually meant, how much  _more_  they were going to have to invest in growth...the New World had already proven itself unkind. Nami's bald head served as a symbol that reassuring days of completely pwn'ing had past. They were no longer in Kansas.

Her head hurt, and the strange sensation of having no hair was making her, admittedly, very depressed.

All that time spent growing and taking care of it, and it turns out short hair was probably the way to go after all.

Robin smiled at her from her place on the couch in the girls' room before chuckling when the navigator fell onto her bed. Too exhausted and too disappointed, she passed out in her clothes for the rest of the day.

She awoke again in the middle of the night, the sound of Robin's whispering with someone else at the door almost making her curious enough to drift into full wakefulness…

"She's fine now, Senchou. You should sleep." Soft steps traveled over the floor anyway, stopping when they were beside her.

Hesitant fingers ghosted over the skin around the gash in her head, the result of being pushed to the ground in the scuffle...

A whispered, "I'm sorry," warm breath and eyelashes that couldn't decide if they wanted to…and then they did; the press of lips.

"G'night, Nami…"

Minutes passed…maybe hours. She felt the urge to turn over.

Ah. Well, it wasn't exactly  _fashionable_ , but…

Her hand reached over to the end table, picked up the trademark hat and shoved it over her face. It smelled like sweat and testosterone and sun and dust and old and all those good things that had probably soaked into it after more than a decade of sitting on his head.

A note fluttered out and onto her face when she picked it back up.

_You can where this if you want._

Well, it wasn't hair, but…

She caught something else, squished and tiny underneath the first sentence.

_Yer still pretty._

Oh, be still her aching heart. It was almost enough to want to stay bald.


	10. mystery colors

It's there all the time, so it's easy to be distracted by it. You find shapes in clouds, you learn all the bullshit behind it all...some things lose their magic once you lose your ignorance.

"Haredas-san, I have a question."

"Ask away, girl. You've been unusually quiet this whole time. I was wondering if you might be thinking something over."

"I understand how rainbows are made. And, I understand those are just the colors the human eye can see…"

"Gamma rays and microwaves are also very fascinating, although they don't have much to do with the weather here on Earth."

Nami was silent, but picked at the grass.

"Why is red always first?"

"Hm?"

"It's always first. Red."

Haredas chuckled and heaved an amused sigh.

"You ask some difficult questions. I suppose that's just how it appears through human eyes. Maybe there is an exception we'll find someday."

Nami continued to stare up at the constant refraction above them.

"Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be."

"Perhaps. It's nice that you question these things, but I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you."

"Red…is probably just being how it's supposed to be," she sighed, smiling lazily. "And orange will always be right beside him."

Haredas raised an eyebrow. "Him?"

"Nothing. Forget it."

 


	11. cake

Fuck you, mother nature.

Can't wear shorts because bloated.

Can't not eat everything.

So standing and staring out over the ocean to distract myself from asking Sanji-kun to make me something chocolatey. Fat, fat, fat.

"Hey, Nami!"

Luffy rolls over, obviously having just eaten. He looks ridiculously happy. I can't help looking at my own stomach, looking at his, and then comparing the level's of satisfaction with life.

_You make a compelling argument, Luffy._

"You okay?"

"Yeah…though, I think I want some chocolate cake."

"THAT SOUNDS AWESOME."

"It does, doesn't it."

 


	12. pull out

"You suck at this," Luffy said bluntly, glowering at Nami and the pained expression she wore while clutching the fishing line.

"Tch. Not like I've spent most of my free time doing this crap like you guys," she spat, jiggling the pole a little, like that would make the fish magically appear.

"No, not that. You don't talk about anything fun like Usopp," he again insulted her under the radar, oblivious to the vein swelling over her forehead. "Tell me a story or somethin'. Anything."

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful witch who made a huge bonfire on the next island she and the rest of her dumbass crew stopped at and melted her idiot rubber captain over the open flames. He burned so much that his ashes turned into diamonds. She lived happily ever after on the spoils of his remains. The end."

"…That story sucks."

"Not for the witch."

"I bet she's ugly."

"SHE'S GORGEOUS."

"Oh, the witches in the East are uuuuglyyyy~…"

"STOP SINGING. I'M TRYING TO CATCH A FISH."

"AND THEY'RE ALL IDIO-"

She flung her pole to bonk him over the head, hooked his puckered, singing lips instead and sent him flying back into the water. It had been unintentional, but somehow his gasping, flailing self held up only by her will and begging to be reeled back in made her feel better.

He paused for a second, feeling something brush his leg.

"Oi, Nami," he yelled, panicking, "there's something under me. Pull me out."

She blinked. "Like, a fish?"

She was answered by the sound of a monstrous sea king leaping up through the water some yards away from her victim. He paled.

"PULL ME OUT."

"I'M TRYING," she screamed, frantically running to the other end of the deck so the line came in faster. She was jerked backwards and realized she was too late.

She screamed bloody murder and was flung off of the ship, Sanji's concerned cries fading away as she flopped onto the back of the fish, conveniently having more fun teasing its lunch than drowning it. The rest of the crew stared as Nami screamed in one long, unbroken note of terror, more muffled hollers of 'PULL ME OUT' coming from the fishes mouth. Zoro smirked.

"Anybody in the mood for sushi?"

* * *

**2 hours later…**

Everyone ate silently, trying to contain their giggles as the sea-soaked navigator and captain gave each other sour looks in-between bites.

"This could've been prevented," she started accusingly, "so _very_  easily. You're such a jerk."

"You didn't pull me out," he retorted. "You're the worst."

"Right. I forgot you go all  _limp_  when  _wet_ ," she sneered, "Have to have someone  _else_  pull you out 'cause you can't do it  _yourself_ …"

Everyone blinked. They…were talking about fishing, right…

"Well, YOU just kinda rode it out, didn't you," he growled. She spit the water in her mouth and blushed.

"Well, unlike YOU, I can IMPROVISE to get the JOB done."

He stood up abruptly, teeth gritted and eyes flashing. "I do NOT go limp."

She gave him her best cheshire grin and raised a gossipy hand to her mouth. "Only when you finally get a bite, eh? Can't deliver when it counts..."

There was dead silence in the galley. And then a small hiss as Sanji's cigarette fell to the floor.

Luffy kicked his chair away, face hidden in hat-shadow, hauled Nami over his shoulder despite her beatings, and marched her out the door muttering, 'I'll show you limp…'

The door slammed. Nobody felt like confronting the silence.

"I'm not…hungry anymore," Zoro murmured.


	13. treasure hunt

This was the greatest day ever. So far, anyway.

Nami had already penciled in the official best day ever as the day she would be able to wade up to her chin in One Piece. And then the second best day would be when she would then be able to finish her world map. Actually, second best day would be a tie between that, and buying her own island. Or maybe the huge closet she planned on making Franky build for her to fit all the clothes she was going to buy (where on the ship it would fit was just details…). Or maybe-

"Nami," Luffy said, giving her a bored stare. "Where do we go next? And…you're drooling…" He lifted a hand to wipe her mouth and she slapped it away, walking a few paces forward and beaming.

"It shouldn't be much further. We're supposed to be looking for the 'x' that marks where it's buried…"

Luffy scratched his head under his hat and blinked down at his chest. His eyes lit up and he laughed.

"Hey, hey! Nami! Me! It's me," he giggled, walking ahead of her and gesturing at himself. Nami blinked and frowned.

"Baka. Nobody'd consider you…" she trailed off her sentence and blushed, thinking a little too hard about what she was saying, "…treasure."

He laughed. "You'd probably like me a lot more if I were made of gold instead of rubber, eh?" His words were meant to be a joke, but the pang in her heart interpreted it as something unacceptable.

She stared at the map, stared at his giddy, completely oblivious back, and decided there was time for her to clear things up.

He whistled to himself for a few steps, noticed her silence and turned over his shoulder. "Oi! You coming or wha- WAIT- "

She tackled him, a mindless hormone zombie attacking his face and reveling in his confused cries for an explanation and then, after a few minutes of realizing it wasn't going to end, some form of acceptance in a hand over her waist and a smile in his kiss.

"I thought we were looking for treasure…"

"I found it," she stated, grinning and placing a hand over his heart. "I just sometimes have to be reminded of how much it's worth."

 


	14. sanji: betrayal of the onions

"Are you seriously expecting me to help you, shit head?" Sanji muttered, speech offed by the clothes pin currently holding his nose closed. Luffy was not so lucky and was enduring the brunt of the stench provided by Sanji's massive pile of chopped onion.

"She's a jerk," the rubber man sobbed unintentionally, "She always thinks she's right about everything and she yells at me and-"

"Quit bitching. I have nothing for you."

"Help me get her to say sorry, Sanji," Luffy pouted, snot dripping down his upper lip. Sanji watched him finally crack and crinkle some purple skins between his palms, teeth gritted in annoyance.

"This smell," he started in a low, pathetic whisper, years of putting up with Nami's shouting and bossy demeanor throwing him over the edge of insanity. He smashed the shredded onion onto his head and furiously mussed his own hair in frustration. "I CAN'T STAND IT."

"Can't stand what, Luffy?"

Captain and cook both blinked at Nami's shocked and confused figure standing in front of the galley door.

She took in the sight of Luffy…tears running down his face…snot crusted over his lip…onion in his hair…

"Oh, Luffy," she murmured, small tears forming at the corners of her eyes and running over to embrace him. "I had no idea I had hurt your feelings so badly. To seek out Sanji-kun's help…and you look so distraught…"

"Huh?" he asked, deep confusion etched in his face while she leaned up to kiss him.

"I had…no idea you were so sensitive," she said softly, gazing into his blood shot eyes. He gave her his best poker face.

"Um…huh?"

"You can have an orange if you want," she said sweetly, grabbing his hand and guiding him towards the door. His eyebrows shot up when she turned around and coyly added, "And…we can do _that thing_. Remember?"

He blinked, realization illuminating his face and giving birth to the dumbest of grins.

"You mean… _that_  thing?"

"Uh-huh~"

Luffy turned and gave Sanji an incredulous look on the way out, stars exploding out of his eyes and mouthing the words 'how did you do that?' until he was finally dragged away.

Sanji swapped out his nearly used cig for a fresh one, casually tossed his clothes pin aside and let the tears fall.

"I'm crying…because  _onions_ …" he whispered softly, wet angst dripping down his face.


	15. naming the prince

The crew stared at Luffy, standing stock still on the precipice of one of the top three most humiliating moments of his life.

"… _Lufficious_?" Usopp finally said out loud, breaking the silence.

"That's Lu-FEE-see-iss," Garp articulated through the megaphone, the rest of the marine crew looking on awkwardly. "With a name like that, could you blame me for giving him a nickname?"

"That's…kind of un-super," Franky pointed out, looking away and scratching at his neck.

"I am  _not_ ," Nami said bluntly, patting her stomach, "using that."

"I told you it was stupid to ask him," Luffy muttered.

Nami shrugged. "I thought it might be nice to include your family in the naming process,  _Lufficious_."

"Shut up."


	16. suit up

Zoro stood frozen, the egregiously priced skinny jeans, still warm from covering the crew's navigator's lower half, flying at his face in slow motion; the matching sea foam green of her bikini bottom's cleared up weeks of wondering whether she was going commando or just liked tiny underwear.

It was like an out cut from Bay Watch, minus the sex appeal and grace; her long, wavy hair flying out behind her as she screeched in vague frustration and flung herself over the side of the ship.

"I guess she's the only one who dressed accordingly," Usopp muttered, taking a collective look at everyone and noticing nobody's outfit looked quite as "suited" for jumping in in case their idiot captain happened to fall over-board.

"Tch. The Marimo's wearing a fucking ball gown," Sanji murmured, receiving a death glare. "And my suit didn't come cheap…"

"LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS I DO FOR YOUR SAKE," Nami screamed, dragging a water logged Luffy back up the side of the ship and slapping him silly. "THIS IS WHY I CAN'T WEAR NICE THINGS…"


	17. it came from the lady parts

"It's usually the consequence of extreme loneliness and brash decisions that are made on dark, stormy nights…" Zoro whispered creepily through the dim light of the oil lamp on the dining room table, "perhaps a night just like this one…"

"It's drizzling. And there's no lightning," Sanji pointed out bluntly, lifting the lid of a pot to add mulling spice and rum to the apple cider. Zoro cleared his throat and Usopp popped up, dramatically shaking a tin baking pan for effect.

Luffy gulped. "…And then?"

"AND THEN," Zoro went on, curling his fingers theatrically and leaning back in his chair, "The unsuspecting woman takes on a death-like state; spewing sporadically, pain in the limbs,  _crazed in the mind_ …"

"This is the shittiest story I've ever heard…"

"Shut up, Blondie. Ask a question after I'm done and you've taken your skirt off," Zoro sneered, receiving a frying pan to the face.

"That…that sounds awful," Luffy murmured through the slight shiver that ran down his spine. "Does it…get better?"

"It gets  _worse_ ," his first mate emphasized gruffly, leaning forward into the lamp light. "The stomach reaches a point where it can't handle the parasite any longer and _bursts_."

Luffy gasped, pupils all but disappearing. Franky finally whimpered loud enough to alert the rest of them that he was, in fact, bawling in the corner. Brook scooted closer and they held each other.

"You guys thought I was the storyteller," Usopp muttered.

"It comes out, screeching and bloody, like some heathenized vagrant; it works its host until it's shriveled, a ghost of its former self. Screams, shrill enough to freeze blood, accompany the nights until you will no longer know the sweet sensation of true sleep…"

"No sleep," Luffy muttered, utterly horrified.

"And it  _grows_ ," Zoro said quietly. "It grows louder, more needy every day. It pukes on you, smells to high heaven, wanders around and chews on all things you hold dear, and when it gets old enough…" The swordsman moved until his hands held Luffy by the shoulders. He leaned down and whispered in his ear, "…it eats. _All. The. Food._ "

Everyone in the room could swear they heard something audibly snap within their captain. He ran, tears streaming down his face and screaming, out of the galley and into the dreary brown of the cloudy, drizzly night.

Zoro chuckled and offered with a smirk, "Apparently Nami's been talking babies…"

* * *

**Five months later...**

"I suppose I was expecting something a bit more enthusiastic," Nami admitted bitterly, hands on hips as Chopper tended to an unresponsive Luffy. "Marine's? No problem. Ten jerks outside a bar? Piece of cake. Fishmen hopped up on drugs? Why the hell not. But OH GOD soon as Nami starts showing, let's go curl up in a corner of the room and act like we're in a psych ward…"


	18. sanji: betrayal of the cotton candy

"NAMI SWAN~" Sanji called, leaping along the throngs of carnival-goers; a graceful grass blade undeterred by anything less than a fabulous pair of knockers. (Which he spied a couple times in his trek and took adequate time to ogle, earning strange looks from nearly all within the vicinity.)

"Over here, Sanji-kun," Nami called in reply, herself and Robin watching Franky shoot moving targets with a squirt gun he'd been handed by a vendor. All three watched as the cyborg grew frustrated with his lack of success, took out his own built in water gun, and proceeded to earn himself a stuffed giraffe. He handed it to Robin, his chin raised in manly pride and unspoken responsibility to dominate in front of his woman.

"Tch. Shitty robot guy's gotta cheat to get something. Nami-swaaaan~ I won this with my love for you in mind~"

Nami's eyes started to light up with gratitude as he thrust the huge stuffed dolphin at her, but they drifted over to the sound of a ruckus being caused in one of the game booths on the opposite side of the row.

Luffy, pissed to high hell and dragging a string of fallen stuffed animals on his ankle, emerged from the gap between two booths with an angry fist bunched at his side and a huge bag over his shoulder.

"Dumb guy tried to cheat. So I punched him and took this," he said, pouting and allowing Nami to inspect the money he'd sacked. "Nobody would take theirs back when I offered it so you can have it."

"You probably scared the shit out of everyone," Zoro pointed out, Chopper glued to his head and munching on rainbow cotton candy the reindeer stuck in his face in intervals.

Nami stared at the treasure, then at Sanji's glittering, expectant face, then over to Luffy's irresistibly roguish glare at the marine's now yelling in the distance…

"Come on, you idiot," she sing-songed, grabbing the rubber-man's sash and wrenching him in the direction of the ship, him tripping on the line of stuffed animals and stretching to tote the bag for her while everyone followed after. "And when we get back to the ship we'll do that  _other_  thing."

"Nami, I can't run like this…" he whined loudly, Sanji sobbing into his dolphin.

"I WILL BEAT UP ALL THE GAME VENDORS NEXT TIME, JUST FOR NAMI-SWA-"

"SHUT UP AND RUN, GIRLY CURL," Franky bellowed, stealing Chopper's cotton candy and stuffing it up Sanji's nostrils when he paused to ogle more breasts. He and Zoro shared a manly thumbs up of acknowledgement.

When they got back to the ship, they discovered Sanji's face had swollen up and he could barely breathe because he was allergic to the food coloring.

Nami dragged Luffy below deck by his pants, where they had the most passionate treasure counting session you can imagine. (No. Seriously. All they did was count money.)

And if Sanji ever cried justified tears, he did that day. He couldn't even put a cigarette between his puffy lips to ease the pain.


	19. navigator appreciation day

"Whata _DORK_ ," Usopp snorted through the hand clasped over his mouth, tears collecting in his eyes as he, Zoro, Franky and Brook watched from behind some railing as Luffy prepared to entertain them with a follow through of one of the sniper's more brilliant pranks.

"This…he's too stupid. I can't even watch…" Zoro muttered, bringing a hand up to hide half of his cringe.

"Ow," Franky whispered, giving a thumbs up to Luffy that he would never actually see, "Just keep…(pffft)…Just keep doin' what you're doin' Mugiwara…"

"Luffy-san will never see panties, will he," Brook said bluntly, deep pity reflected in his voice.

* * *

Nami glanced back over her shoulder to make sure he was still there.

Yep. Yep, he was still there.

_Is he…is he looking at me? That's impossible. This whole thing is impossible. And that pose…_

Luffy stood casually in her backwards line of vision, hands stuffed in his worn pockets and a weird, almost…smirk (?)…thing…on his face while he leaned against the wall. She turned back around to stare out at the ocean cautiously, only half glancing the next time…sure this  _seriously_  couldn't be happening...

And wait...

_The fuck is THAT?_

The next shoulder turn, Nami's poor heart practically burst into enough static fuzz to put sweaters on a dozen baby bunnies. And it  _felt_  weirder than the analogy.

For upon making accidental eye contact with her captain and trying not to dwell on the twinkle he was projecting (she refused to acknowledge 'smoldering' as a possible descriptive word for the marbles that sat in Luffy's eye sockets), the subtle bobbing of his head confirmed her suspicion: he was checking her out, and he didn't care if she noticed.

_But…but…WHY…_

* * *

"Use the finishing move," Franky urged, giving Luffy the 'o.k.' sign. Zoro shook his head and watched to see how this would play out, Usopp about ready to pee his pants from keeping the laughter in and Brook wondering how many cats Luffy might want for company if he never intended to take the art of panty-asking seriously like him…

* * *

Apparently this was the best way for a captain to "show appreciation of his navigator's assets"? 'S what Usopp said anyway…

_I appreciate your navigating more than anyone, Nami…_

He watched her jaw hit the deck when he finished his succession of code: first the kissy noise thing Usopp had taught him, then he'd whacked at the air with one hand, gyrating his hips at the same time.

* * *

He woke up three days later in Chopper's office, Usopp beside him after Zoro'd blabbed for a debt reduction.

They never celebrated "Navigator Appreciation Day" again.

 


	20. sharing face

"That's stupid."

"It's not stupid. A lot of people like the idea of wishes coming true…"

"It doesn't do anything. I could wish for meat. I don't have any meat. I have to yell for Sanji to make it…"

"How ambitious of you…"

"Fine. What are you wishing for?"

"I'm not telling you. You're a jerk."

"Fine. I didn't wanna hear it anyway."

"…"

"…"

"You're looking at me funny. Stop."

"You started it."

"No, it's probably just because you have that dumb look all the time…"

"I do not look dumb…"

"Like an owl."

"Well, you look like…like…"

"…The dumb look again…"

"SHUT UP."

"That's what I'll wish for…a captain with a face that doesn't look so questiona- !"

"…"

"…"

"WHY THE HELL'D YOU DO THAT?"

"YOU THINK YOUR FACE IS SO GREAT, WE MIGHT AS WELL SHARE IT."

"…You're  _retarded_."

"Am not."

"…"

"…"

"We could share my face again…"

"…'Kay."

 


	21. knight

This isn't how it goes.

I'm supposed to be poised and unafraid, with long flowy hair, a pretty dress, and probably smelling like roses or something. Capris and a bathing suit with pigtails doesn't exactly set the mood.

But I guess this is how it goes with me, because I'm terrified. The second I hear him screaming up at us like, of  _course_  he's here, why  _wouldn't_  he be, I realize this is what I've been anticipating. I am not strong enough to pretend I don't need him to be here; not now that I know he came.

And I flail over the side, the voice not enough, and he's there; wild and looking like he just crawled out of the gutter. But he stands tall and his jaw is set and his eyes burn and I'm only assuming now because I'm crying because I guess I never figured I'd get a  _real_  one, even if it isn't how I'd always imagined it.

There's no steed, nope, not even sandals. He ran here. He ran here to take on a lightning breathing Ear Lobe in a tattered vest and shorts.

And all I can do is scream his name.


	22. Chapter 22

_He stood outside the village, tall, tanned, and stoic in his observations of her. She called out to him, "Excuse me! Wait just one moment! I have something for you!" Scarlet ran up the hill, as she had hoped, the young man waiting for her to reach him. From up close, the scars on his body told stories of the many battles he had fought; undoubtedly won. His faded red dyed buck skin vest made a nice contrast with the sunset sweeping over the land._

_"You owe me nothing, Miss Scarlet," he said with some difficulty, the small amount of English she had managed to teach him on his visits coming through childishly. Her beaming smile made him smile as well. "Eat well. I've taught your people enough that you should not go hungry anymore."_

_"We are eternally in your debt," she said softly, placing the parcel of corn in his hands and leaning up to kiss the scar beneath his eye, "I am in your debt-"_

* * *

"Robin," Nami said with quiet malice, leaning over the historian's shoulder, "what are you writing about?"

"It's just a short story, Nami-chan…"

"IT BEARS A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO THIS PERSON'S WRITING," the red-head shrieked, shoving a newspaper in Robin's face and pointing at a recent piece of fiction in the entertainment section. It was written by someone simply known as 'NR'. The story was about a witch named Mikan falling in love with a scarecrow. Something about flying off into the sunset on her broom that shot lightning and bubbles…

"Yes, 'NR' is certainly a talented writer," Robin mused, going back to her story. "Maybe at the next island I'll submit a story as well. I might get published."

"I FORBID IT."

"I don't see why you're getting so upset…"

"THIS IS OBVIOUSLY ABOUT ME AND…uh…"

Robin stared at Nami's blushing face, grinning. "You and who?"

Nami grumbled and stalked away, throwing the balled up newspaper section at Zoro's sleeping form, the paper sticking to his face like a paper machet booger thanks to his drool.

Robin shrugged and went back to continue writing, then blinked when she found Luffy attempting to read it, his head tilted.

"I like it," he said bluntly. "She gives him food. They should be nakama."

"Well I'm glad one of you likes it," Robin chuckled.


	23. island

Nami shows me things.

Skin things.

There are things that can be touched on skin and they prickle and tickle, and it's nice.

If she's sleeping, I can pull up the sheets and pretend.

I pretend I'm a boat, floaty on white, shadowy things. Sometimes Nami moves and makes ripples.

If I put a hand out and touch her…

It's strange…

I like islands.

I like Nami's arm hairs. Nami's arm hairs feel like grass. My fingers walk all over it…

"Hn…Luffy…"

If I move under the sheet, I'm under water. There's hills down here, her back…

"What are you doing…"

I can be the wind…warm…

"Don't blow in my ear, you jerk…"

Hands on breasts; Hills…

"Pervert…"

Hands on stomach; Plains…

"Luffy…"

Wet…

 _Gasp._  "Don't  _touch_  there…"

Her hair's warm. Her toes're cold.

Something new every time.

If I could tell her she's an adventure…

"Shima, Nami."


	24. silent night

For such famous pirates, their ship was fairly easy to infiltrate.

He strolled soundlessly over the expertly crafted stair case, already knowing where he was headed.

_Nami-chan…you captivated me with your beauty the first time I saw your poster…I simply must have you. I will make you mine, and then you can join my crew and become our navigator…_

When he had reached the top of the stairs, there was a split second where he might've thought something was amiss. Not just from his own ability, but he felt something. Still, he continued on; past the trees, past the flower garden, all the while smiling the smile of the love struck inebriate. The bathroom light was on; even a drunk could figure after a couple nights of stalking and watching her late night habits that tonight was no different in pattern.

Not to mention the nerves alcohol can offer and the pressing fact that their log pose had set; they could set off at any time. If he got a head start and he could scare her into telling him where their log pose was, the Straw Hat's would have little to zero chance of ever seeing their prized navigator again.

_I'll slip in, and then 'slip in'…yeheeheehee…_

A shadow slid over the wall as his hand reached out to twist the nob of the library door, and before he had time to call out to whatever had just grabbed and dislocated his arm, another hand had him by the throat.

"How…how did you know I was here," he choked out, dark, angry eyes narrowing when their subject of appraisal had the gall to speak. "My ability…you shouldn't be able to hear me…or anything within my abilities range…"

"I could feel you," the voice of his captor said quietly. "You feel…bad. You were going to do something."

"What?"

"You were going to do something to Nami," the voice accused dangerously. "Just a little bit…what you were thinking…I saw it." He seemed to think hard for a minute. "That's why Zoro hasn't come down to kill you yet. He can't hear anything…now that I think about it, I can't even hear anything…"

He laughed as well as he could with a hand slowly constricting his air way. "I get it. You're the captain, then. Not in the mood to share? I suppose I wouldn't be either if I had that ass in my crew…"

There was a feeling of being weightless, and then, looking down, he noticed the floor boards had disappeared. He was being dangled over the side of the ship, nothing but dark water below his feet.

"That's why she hasn't been singing," Luffy said quietly, both hands coming up to share in the choking. "You've been watching her, right? I can't hear her sing…it's because you're watching her..."

He raised his eyebrows in question for a moment, then chuckled in disgusting knowing. "You're sicker 'an me. You sit out here every night to listen to her sing in the shower?"

Luffy lifted him further out, then brought one arm back, coaxing the sleeve of his shirt up. The man dangling from his other arm watched him with numb amusement, invincible in his inevitable defeat now that his Silence Fruit had been seen through.

"You gonna drown me here? Coward."

"Nope," Luffy said simply, cracking his knuckles.

"You might as well kill me. Nami's the only woman I've ever loved," the man said bitterly. Then with a bone dry laugh, he growled, "I'll just keep coming back. I'll follow ya. Until I'm old and you're man enough to kill me, I'll follow you. And I'll get her. One day you'll screw up. You won't be out here playing Night-knight, and I'll get her. You'll wake up, and we'll be gone-"

"Shut up," came the sharp response of his captor. He seemed to be studying the guy in his hand, assessing whether his next actions were the best to take or not. He seemed fairly weak. But...his intentions were...daunting.

"You say you'll follow us until you're dead, huh?"

Smirk. "Yep. Figure I got nothin' to lose if you're gonna be such a pansy about this. You thinkin' of doin' it now?"

"Nah," came the significantly softer, darker response. "I'm just gonna beat the crap out of you.

The man blinked. "Why the hell are you holding me like this, then?"

Luffy blinked. "Nami'd get mad if blood got all over the place."

There was a silence, like the man was letting the simple words sink into his gradually sobering brain.

"There will be others like me," he said, closing his eyes and preparing for the blows. "Stronger, smarter guys. She's irresistible."

"I'm not goin' anywhere."

"Her singing's that nice, huh?"

"Nope. She sucks."

"…What?"

_Punch._

_  
_


	25. what you give off

"Sometimes I wonder," Luffy's voice puffed gently over the cold, "who my mom was…"

"It's understandable," Nami reasoned, mittened hands slipping over the railing and leaning to stare at the black water. "Your dad's so famous. Robin says he's an interesting guy, but nothing like you in his stoic aspects." She smiled assuringly. "I bet she was fun."

Luffy smiled back, sighed and sniffed.

"You guys are warm, you know? I don't feel like I'm missing anything."

"I feel the same," she muttered in agreement. "I do kinda wonder about it though…"

"And that's fine," he finished for her, both of them mulling over whether it was appropriate for a pirate to admit the past was so interesting to think about. Well, that was Robin's specialty anyway. So stopping and questioning the present for a minute wasn't something to feel horrible about.

"I wonder who had your hair," he joked, dodging her swat and avoiding collision with the green house Franky'd constructed over Nami's orange tree's.

Before she could give chase, he said something a little too eerie: "I'd like to thank them. For their warmth."

She blinked. "Their warmth?"

"They were warm with each other to make you," he reasoned, shrugging. He giggled and continued, "You and your sister had a good mom, but somebody had to make you, ya know? She had to have something to work with."

Nami stared him in the eye until she was convinced he wouldn't be carried away by the wind. It was something she ended up using a lot of her time doing; convincing herself she could feel the things she felt when he said things like that.

"I guess, Luffy. When you put it like that, we all give each other something to work with, huh."

He grinned. "Mm."

He offered a hand and she took it.

With the melting of her heart came his promise filled-

And then there was warmth on her face.


	26. love love new year de la drunk

They tell me they found us passed out in the bathroom. Puke everywhere. One smell of my own breath and I can guess whose it was.

Next thing I know, we're standing on the lawn deck at four in the morning while Robin sprays us with her garden hose.

I asked her how she got our clothes off.

What clothes, she says.

And Luffy smirks through his wet bangs and mutters something about rubber on rubber.

Happy fucking new year to me.


	27. gina

**A/N:**  Reasons you should understand this reference: 1) It's the only stand alone sliver of pure, otherwise explainable evidence that Nami's character has feelings for Luffy that go beyond friendship.

...

What other reason do you need.

**Bonus:**  They left the entire conversation leading up to it out of the anime. But it's in the manga, so it's canon.

(Ch. 318: End Of The Game pg. 11, panel 4/5; do it.)

* * *

_"I choose…Gina! We need a shipwright after all!"_

_Gina._

_Gina._

_Gina._

_Nami watched in horror as Sanji did back flips, and the rest of the crew crowded around the former Foxy Pirate crew member and their new shipwright, carrying her sexy ass all the way back to Merry. Sexy Gina. Gina would fix the ship and they would all continue on their journey around the world._

_"Oi, Nami," Luffy called, rubber arms practically mummifying Gina to his chest. She smirked and snuggled in closer to him._ _"What's the matter, don't you like Gina?"_

_Gina._

_"Hey, Gina! Nami won't play with me because she's too busy with her dumb maps. Will you?"_

_"Of course, Luffy-senchou, I'd be happy to play with you!"_

_Gina._

_"Hey, Gina! Nami won't give me her food. She's such a fatty. Can I have yours?"_

_"Of course, Luffy-senchou!"_

_Gina._

_"Hey, Gina! My bed kinda broke after what we did last night. Can you come fix it?"_

_"Of course, Luffy-senchou! Anything for you~"_

_Gina._

_"Hey, Gina! Marry me!"_

_"Anything for you, Luffy-senchou~"_

_Gina._

_"Hey, Gina! When's the baby due?"_

_"Our thirteenth child is due-"_

* * *

"Oi, Nami. You okay?" Usopp asked warily, everyone else staring in silence as she rose from her seat at the breakfast table and stared back with dark bags under blood shot eyes.

"Today, I decided I'm going to start paying more attention to what I'm thankful for," she said with quiet mirth, smiling creepily over at Franky, "I am thankful for you, Franky, for everything you do. For existing. Thank you for being a big, huge, perverted robot guy…"

She turned to Luffy, sweating with nervousness when she gave him the same grin. "And I'm thankful to you, Luffy, for being dumb enough to put him in this crew." Her grin grew corpse like. " _Thank you for being you._ "

She sat down and continued eating her breakfast. Then, after reconsidering, asked if Luffy wanted it. He accepted, and everyone gazed after her as she walked with purpose out the door, muttering about her maps not being dumb...

Robin shrugged and smiled, gripping her coffee mug.

"Nami had a rough night."


	28. casual strands

"Do you remember the first time someone told you where your heart was?" I ask, hoping his memory isn't conveniently trained on everything I try to make an example of. He shakes his head. I sigh with relief.

"That's just one of those things you know," he argues, narrowing his eyes. "Nobody tells you where that stuff is."

"No, you don't 'just know', you never 'just know' anything," I tell him. "Because the heart is important, it's a popular topic of discussion when talking about, I don't know, love and stuff."

He looks bored. "Why does that even matter. Even if I didn't know where it was, it'd still be there. It still works."

I smile. "Mm. But you shouldn't take for granted all the things it's got in there."

He looks a little more thoughtful. "I guess." And of course, "What is in there, anyway…"

"Never mind, idiot," I mutter, noticing a bit of my hair's gotten stuck on his sleeve. I pinch it off and we both watch it float to the ground.

"Hey, Nami."

"Hm."

He removes the hat from my head and points out a spot near the edge of the rim. Pieces of my hair, now conveniently longer, were strung together to make it look like his treasure wasn't falling apart.

"Why do you use your hair?"

"Easy," I say simply, "It's cheaper."

"Your hair gets everywhere now," he complains. "Can't you put it up or something?"

"If it bothers you so much, why the hell do you let me sit with you like this."

"I dunno. Guess that's just how it goes." He puts the hat back over his own head and pushes himself down in the bed, throwing an arm over my shoulder and acting like he's going to sleep.

"…Why do you sit in here, anyway…"

"Practice…"

He gives me a look from under the hat brim and blinks sleepily. "Hm?"

"I guess I'm just waiting," I say quietly, poking his ribs, "for something."

He flinches, then gets the biggest grin on his face when I pull the bag I brought in up from the floor. "That for  _me_?" he asks with loud hopefulness.

"Mm. Robin and I saw it and thought of you, so, I went ahead and bought it." His face falls considerably when I bring out a book, but his head tilts when he looks at the cover.

"I thought I might read it to you," I say through my smile, thoroughly amused with this. Another hair strand. I pick it off, and absentmindedly grab the wrist still over my shoulder.

He sounds out slowly, "Ev-er-y-one Poops…"

"Yeah. You seem to have trouble with that, so, prepare yourself for a lesson," I say dryly, finishing tying my hair in a bow over his pinkie finger.


	29. paintin' stuff

"Nami, what's this," Luffy asked, tilting his head as he watched her remove her shoes and tie her hair up. It was a little chilly now that it was later, but she didn't mind. She knew she was about to make his day, so it didn't matter.

"I didn't know what to get you, so, I thought we could do something together," she said simply, walking over to one of the cans of paint she'd brought out from the hold. She beamed when he started to catch on. "I know you already made me a valentine card, but is it okay if you help me make mine to you?"

He nodded enthusiastically and moved with bare feet to cross over the large tarp she'd laid out. He balled up his shirt so he wouldn't get paint on it and threw it over by his flip flops.

After about an hour they were both covered in paint, hand prints and foot prints, and even half of his face pressed to create what probably just looked like random splotches without much of a theme. She dodged the flick of some purple from his fingers and tried using her foot to write 'Love You' in red. He smeared paint over his entire front and let himself faceplant a few feet away. She laughed when he peeled himself away to reveal the result.

Her ears perked when she noticed the familiar quiver of Brook's violin on the other side of the ship. She and Luffy smiled at each other and he held out his hand. She took it and he pulled her into what could only be described as the awkward hybrid child of 'dancing' and 'hugging'. They weren't really moving. Just kind of swaying. And that was fine. He wasn't the most graceful of dancing partners if it got too complicated.

"I asked everybody why I had to do all that stuff for you," he started, leaning on her shoulder. "They said girls like it when guys make them feel special."

"Mm."

"Did you feel special today?"

She laughed. "Yeah."

He got quiet and then muttered, "Just today?"

"Every day. But today just kind of makes girls aware of it," she reasoned. "Do you feel special?"

He grinned into her neck. "Mm. I like painting."

"I know you do," she teased, patting his back. "Nobody lets you though because you make a mess, poor thing."

He shishishi'd and pulled away, bringing them both down to the tarp. With her hand still entwined in his, he dunked them in some red and smacked it down next to the 'Love You'. She smiled.

"Do you like it?"

He nodded and reached over to draw a smiley with his finger on her cheek. "Yeah."

She patted the painted half of his face and smiled. "Happy Valentines Day then, twerp."


	30. you get what you pay for

Robin was observant. Perhaps she'd gotten too good for her own good.

Or it could just be they weren't very good at hiding it. At all. Not that there's many places to rendezvous on a ship. And she had an assassin's advantageous foresight.

The first time, she thought they'd just finished quickly. Nami'd looked like a deer in headlights, coming up from the hold to find Robin still reading and not particularly inclined to ask why her bathing suit strap was broken and her hair was untamed.

The second time, just to be sure, she'd confirmed it by the muffled noises coming from behind the door. They'd stopped abruptly after a time, and Robin had left them to their privacy. But Nami was back in the room not minutes later, clothes ruffled and face red with anger.

They would argue more frequently. He would sigh a lot more, laugh a little less, give her sad apologetic looks when she walked by and didn't say anything. Then they would make up somehow, and Nami would ask him to help her take stock, or count her money. And again, she'd come back up, angry as could be, and stuff herself under the sheets without an explanation.

Having worked directly under someone of close relation to her captain, particularly his elusive father who enjoyed pulling the narcolepsy card in the middle of public addresses to his followers, Robin had a hunch she might know what was going on. The fun part, was that she really didn't need to directly confront them to help them out a little.

Well, maybe that was fun for someone else. Robin liked to hear she was doing a good job once in a while…

"How are things between you and Senchou going," she asked casually over tea one day, about a month after instructing Sanji about meal plans. She already knew things were going better between them, but she wanted Nami to know she knew.

The red head blushed and stuttered, "I…I suppose they're going alright…"

"He isn't falling asleep in the middle of it anymore?"

Nami dropped her tea cup, face flaming with embarrassment. She'd suspected Robin wasn't completely in the dark, but, geez, just how much did this woman know…

"No…" she said witheringly, "he isn't."

"Men who use most of their passion to chase their dreams often need a little more metabolism to make it through the night," the older woman said sagely. "I figured it might be a hereditary thing."

"…This wouldn't happen to be an explanation for the increase in food budget we've had to have, would it," Nami asked, suddenly deflating considerably. Robin shrugged.

"I suppose you get what you pay for."


	31. jokes on you: spoilers

"I don't know," Nami said with faint severity building in her voice, "I kind of like this body…"

Everyone not laughing hysterically at the changed members of the crew turned to look, while Luffy's obnoxious hyuk softened to a giggle with traces of confusion at her statement finding their way to his face.

"…Maybe I want to stay this way  _forever_."

Luffy immediately stiffened in the snow, Franky screaming obscenities in Chopper's voice, every objection to that idea squeaking in hysterics.

Forever sunk into his tiny rubber brain. Then squirmed down his spine until his nether regions shivered with lonely foreboding.

No. Forever was unacceptable.

He jumped to his feet, stumbling into a twirling, jacketless Sanji busy bleeding over his boobs—er, body's—physical reaction to cold. Luffy gave it a quick look over, a sudden appreciation gripping him and compelling him to run back the way he'd come, screaming Trafal-guy's name the entire way.

"Oh, don't like that idea so much?" Nami screamed through her new huge, robotic hands as he disappeared up the hill, "And to think I was going to let you be the seme…"


	32. speed of light

How can something so required for sustainability be so crass. It falls innocently enough, quietly eroding if it's given the chance. It would be a mercy to be able to move right now, to be able to act on her own end of nature's bargain; if she moves, she never has to acknowledge there's a force whittling away at her physically as well as mentally.

But today, Nami's standing in one place. It is the loneliest place she has stood in her life, and she isn't sure the man before her will ever understand even half of what that means. She's sure it probably isn't something even she will be able to fathom for a while. At least not until she gives herself, and the rest of the crew, a bit of closure.

"This is yours."

Shanks stares at her, famous hair sticking to his neck and tired, time beaten eyes soft with understanding at her dry, feelingless preamble. His hands reach out to take it, but she pulls back a bit, challenging him with her eyes. The way she's clutching it, like the last thing keeping her from flying off into hysteria.

Maybe it is. He has only a vague idea.

"First," she says, misty as a splash on rock, "I should tell you, I was there. For all of it. I...saw everything."

He tries to smile gently, knows it probably does nothing for her. "Did you, now."

He watches her pale fingers touch every frayed edge and stitched line, listens to the mapping of an adventure from the perspective of someone he had never expected to hear it repeated from.

"He never knew what the hell he was doing," she finally finishes, a slight quaver indicating she might be losing steam. "But...he always knew where he was headed." He ignores the sheen in her eyes now. "It was my job to get him there. So, I figure…"

The rain has taken the last bit of mask she has left, and she stands before the captain of the Red Hair Pirates for what she is, here, now; bones dressed in tissue paper thin, frosted wrapping that has, for as far as forever will take her, given her all to a man for a few years of absolute happiness. And lost it.

"I am, if  _anything_ ," her passion flushed face testifies, breath heavy with the control she doesn't have left to communicate, "a witness to the greatness of Monkey D. Luffy."

In truth, she doesn't care about anything he says after that. He takes the hat, to his credit understanding that offering to let her keep it is unacceptable.

_Not so much a navigator, eh,_  he says with dagger sharp kindness,  _but a fixer._

_Maybe..._

If she could scream until blood ran down her throat, every other sound died away, every image of a smile she would never see again, never be responsible for, never cover with a kiss...it would have come with the mud at her knees.

_Maybe so._

The guilty feeling of knowing he wouldn't want to watch this part. The part where she wilts and sees no possible way of recovering. The part where she thrashes and notices that, in keeping his precedent promises, she is left with nobody to fix her now. A string without a needle.

Nami can predict storms, knows the wind better than it probably knows itself, calls it how she sees it.

They told her eight minutes is how long it would take someone to realize the sun had died for speed of light.

She has used them all to give its last rays away.


End file.
